Even though we would all like to avoid it, stress is a normal part of life. Our bodies react to the ‘good' excitement of an outstanding personal achievement, or a vacation in the same way as it would react to the ‘bad' excitement of trouble with the boss, traffic or bills. These normal reactions include elevated heart rate and blood pressure, increased muscular tension, increased rate of breathing. These are all part of the ‘fight or flight‘ response, a good reaction from your body if you need to quickly run away from a mugger. However if stressors are prolonged from long-term stressful events, over time these same bodily responses can start to cause or intensify physical symptoms like high blood pressure, increased muscular pain including tension headaches, digestive upsets, anxiety.

When dealing with the issues of stress and relaxation, the physical and mental factors are interrelated. The way we perceive the situation, as well as the actual situation all strongly influence how we are affected by stress physically and mentally. Each person experiences stress differently. How we perceive the situation (which may not be stressful to someone else) as well as body reactions to stress vary according to your coping abilities, body and personality. Some people get tight muscles or an upset stomach in response to stressors. Some get irritable, tense or have a hard time focusing, some get insomnia- it varies for everyone for type and intensity of response to stress. What internal coping ‘tools' we think we have, and which ones we will use to cope affect our mental and emotional reaction to the pressure and tension that occurs in our lives. This is what makes the difference between feeling “completely stressed out”, or “it's crazy, but I'm really doing ok”. We can't change the fender bender in front of us on the freeway, but how we choose to react (through retraining) can make a difference in how “stressed” we feel.

To learn to handle stress successfully, try adding in some of the following methods into how you react to stress and reduce self-inflicted stressors (no, we can't change your boss, only he can do that). With practice, it is possible to affect and control your response to events that can trigger stress reactions. Working on these techniques before your stress level increases will make using them more automatic and easier to use. Remember, you can't stop the big waves in life, but you can learn how to surf on them.

• Don't react to minor happenings (like traffic) as though they are a major crisis. Try to look at them in the perspective of how much this will matter in a month- often times it really won't matter much, so you don't need to respond so vigorously.
• Regularly allow yourself time for vigorous physical activity or long brisk walks. Both of these are helpful in relieving physical and mental tension.
• Divide your workload into a series of smaller tasks. Take one thing at a time and work through it in steps. Give your best effort, but don't try to be perfect in every small thing that is not as critical.
• Try to create a peaceful, relatively quiet place a work, school and home, where you can spend a few moments to consciously unwind on a regular basis every day, even if it is just closing your eyes and taking a dozen slow deep breaths before going back into the busy world.
• Social support, someone to talk to, who will listen uncritically when something bothers you, can help you put problems into perspective, and help you unwind and feel less alone.
• Learn to devote your time and energy to things that need attention, or that will help progression toward long-term goals. Say ‘no' when you don't have enough time to do something, or you truly don't want to do it.
• Schedule yourself some personal free time (even 30 minutes) to do anything, or nothing once a week or more. Laugh regularly. Consider it part of regular maintenance for your body and mind.
• Eat a nutritious diet high in fruits/vegetables and lower in junk food to give your body the best fuel for life. Avoid alcohol, tobacco and other abusive substances. Decrease caffeine intake as well.
• Practice calming techniques such as deep abdominal breathing, massage, relaxation techniques including visualization and meditation, yoga or biofeedback to calm your body and mind.